Self-Care vs. Self-Sabotage

Happy Wednesday Wellness Warriors. I thought I’d pop in quickly today to talk about self-sabotage. This is an area I still struggle with from time to time. Sometimes the ego gets me into a choke hold and I need to fight my way out. A Course In Miracles refers to the ego as our fear based mind. Small crazy ideas, ones that we know aren’t true, transform into full fledged stories about our inherent self-worth. You know the ones; I’m not pretty enough, handsome enough, smart enough, skinny enough… I don’t deserve to be happy, to be loved, etc. We’ve heard these stories so many times that we believe them to be true. Over time we bought into the madness of the ego, and it keeps us stuck in our stories. We’ve taken up real-estate, and now we’re stuck.

The ego keeps is stuck in our stories, resisting love and resisting healing in a number of different ways. For the sake of today’s post, I’ll concentrate on one. Denial.

The ego can be pretty trippy when keeping us stuck in our resistance. It often masquerades itself as self-care, which we easily buy into because we’re constantly flooded with messages of self-care and self-love. I often get caught up in negative stories or old patterns, and the best way I’ve found to break those cycles and release the stories is through mediation and yoga. But every once and a while the ego gets his foot in the door. I’ll arrive home from work after a long day and hear that little voice say “You don’t need to do yoga tonight. You had a hard day, just relax, watch some TV. Take care of yourself.” The ego can be rather deceptive and sometimes it has me convinced that I’ve hopped on the self-care train, only to realize later, I’ve denied myself an opportunity for healing and I’m still stuck.

So how is it that we can’t tell the difference? How do we recognize the difference between self-care and the ego’s attempt to sabotage our healing and well being. The most common answer is intent. The intention behind self-care is what ensures its result. So if that’s leaving you confused, and me sounding too much like Yoda, here is an easier way to differentiate the two.

Think about acts of self-care that you enjoy; reading a book with a cup of tea, a hot bubble bath, a deep tissue massage, a sweaty yoga session, a liberating mediation, or even a great cuddle session with your pups. How do they make you feel? If you’re anything like me you feel refreshed, like you batteries have been recharged, and you have a new sense of clarity. It feels like something on the inside is smiling, something is lit up. Now think about what you indulge in, instead of these things that light you up. Those glasses of wine you threw back when you got home from work, the hours of binge watching Netflix, the tub of ice cream you inhaled, how do those make you feel? I know personally, when I listen to my ego and crash on the couch in front of the TV, instead of hitting the gym or doing something good for myself, I get up off the couch hours later for bed just as tired and drained as when I landed there in the first place. That’s how I’ve come to realize that I denied myself and opportunity for self-care, and listen to my ego instead. I bought into the ego’s resistance to love, resistance to heal, and most importantly resistance to change. Denial is just one of the arrows in the ego’s quiver.

When I deny myself healing, I buy into my ego's resistance to love. Click To Tweet

So now I’d love to hear from you. How do you deny yourself healing? How does your ego keep you stuck in your resistance to love? Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks for reading and if you’d like read more posts of this nature let me know below. If any part of this was beneficial for you, and you feel it could positively impact someone else, I’d be honored if you’d share it.

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Sending you love,
David D